torsdag 9. april 2015

Eureka! I have found it!

No, I have not found a new mathematical formula. I would be the last person on this planet to do so. It is the title and the dramaturgy of the Islamic “Life of Brian” that fell on me this morning when I was laying in my bed.

For many days I have been thinking of this. How to find a composition and a structure that is suitable for the purpose. I have rejected many scenarios. At some moments I was close to regret my crazy blog.

It is not every day somebody announces publically that she, with no financial means to take time off to be able to work on a rather challenging project, and with merely any idea about what she is going to write, anyhow is going to write a blog-book.

I was so bold as ta do it. Now I have the broad lines of the story in my head.

I have found it!!! 


My dear reader:

I promise not to let you wait too long for the first two chapters.

I will already now reveal the title.

I was a spy in Medina

For the non-Arab reader I should mention two things laying in the title.

1-Arabic is one of the languages that have grammatical gender. Pronouns, verbs, adjectives etc. have either masculine or feminine form. Neuter does not exist. This means that the reader of the Arabic text that you are reading in English now, will get more information than you. (Sorry! C’est la vie).

The spy is a woman. Already at this very early stage it is a bit chocking to many as Muslim women never work as spies. Honestly! How will they ever be able to do the work of 007, jump between the roofs of high buildings, dive in the deep seas and demonstrate proficiency in karate and shooting, wearing the Islamic outfit, the long black dress covering the arm links and the ankles? Well, Burqini can solve one problem in some scenes. The instrumental sex a spy has in his/ her work is though a bit more challenging.

The Islamic world is a man’s world. God=A man. A prophet=A man. A cleric=A man. A president=A man. A spy=A man. A soldier=A man. A police=A man. A villain=A man. A taxi driver=A man. An editor=A man. A commentator=A man. A falafel seller=A man.

You have got the picture.

 2-There was an extremely popular TV-soap opera called I was a spy in Israel.

It was about an Egyptian man who was recruited by the security police, trained and sent to Israel, where he managed to become a spy. How successful the whole operation was is an open question. I would not trust the Arabic presentation. Anyhow, millions in my generation, and my parents’ generation followed the drama with tears and pounding hearts. The Arab reader will take the hint.

Why Jews? Our cousins will actually have some important roles in the Medina drama. The story never goes without them.

We Muslims are obsessed with Jews. That includes me of course. In addition to this natural and incurable obsession, it is always a smart PR tricks to include Jews in any story. The media will soon be running after me with cameras and microphones and I will become famous. Oh, I enjoy the thought!

As I believe that the Zionist World lobby is omnipotent, omnipresent, extremely rich and would love to support any project that does not take Muslim myths seriously, I do not have to worry anymore for my miserable personal economic situation. I will be soon showered by golden coins, have a limousine with a private driver outside the door, I will find a travel ticket to the United Stated of Amerika under my pillow. When I arrive to Washington DC, I will be received with applause, and I will spend some lazy days in a luxury house in Hawaii. Oh, I can’t wait!

I should really start writing soon.